i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
