If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
