remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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