morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
