let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
