At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
