she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
