i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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