JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
