naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
