if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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