I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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