I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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