i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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