have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Are we still banned from the library?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
