i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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