Screwed.edu
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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