my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
