Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
