im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
