You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The ass gains better be worth it
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