He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
