My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize