census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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