They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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