So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
