Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
