I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
