The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize