It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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