you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
