someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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