Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize