why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
