Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
two words...techno handjob
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
