the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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