My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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