cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
no more duck duck goose at the bar
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
