Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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