I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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