im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
