Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He passed out mid-signature
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
