She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
