When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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