He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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