no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
