man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
