come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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