are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
worst night to have a conscience
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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