the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
