I cannot find my penis.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
