Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
