I must be too annoying 4 u.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
