You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
