I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
