I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
