That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize