when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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