you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
