i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
