its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
