that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
