We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
