Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
