I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
