she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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