I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
