the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
