That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
