Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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