and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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