Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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