i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
